Children’s Bill of Rights in Custody Matters
I have represented many hundreds of children in family law matters. From that experience, I can assure you that 99% of children do not wish to be involved in their parents’ custody dispute. Kids deserve to be kids, even when their parents have disagreements about their upbringing.
Two New York judges crafted a “Children’s Bill of Rights,” which I like to include in custody settlement agreements. I find that this can be a really helpful framework for parents to think about how to treat their children when there are custody matters at hand. Here it is:
The right not to be asked to "choose sides" between their parents.
The right not to be told the details of bitter or nasty legal proceedings going on between their parents.
The right not to be told "bad things" about the other parent's personality or character.
The right to privacy when talking to either parent on the telephone.
The right not to be cross-examined by one parent after spending time with the other parent.
The right not to be asked to be a messenger from one parent to the other.
The right not to be asked by one parent to tell the other parent untruths.
The right not to be used as a confidant regarding the legal proceedings between the parties.
The right to express feelings, whatever those feelings may be.
The right to choose not to express certain feelings.
The right to be protected from parental warfare.
The right not to be made to feel guilty for loving both parents.
Is there anything you would add?
