How Do I Win My Child Custody Mediation in Maryland?

So you’re headed into a mediation for your custody dispute and you want to be prepared. I get it. When faced with a “custody battle,” it’s easy to think about it as something to be won or lost. You don’t want to feel as if you’ve given up without a fight. You don’t want to end up “losing” because you weren’t aggressive enough or because of a tactical error. It can be really scary.

But here’s the secret - the parents who get the best results in their custody mediations aren’t the ones who are the most aggressive or determined to win. The parents who get the best results are the ones who have the clearest picture of their ideal outcome.

Instead of setting your intention on “winning,” create a vivid vision of what you want co-parenting to look like and set your intention on ending up there. 

Be proactive and detailed about visualizing your own best desired result. As you create this vision, you might start with the court-provided parenting plan form, but I would encourage you to go further. Think about things like: 

• What do you want transitions to look like? 

• How do you want your communications with your ex to feel? 

• Imagine your favorite holiday and try to envision the very best way it could turn out in a year when you share parenting time with your ex. 

Use lots of adjectives to paint a clear picture of your ideal outcome. If you set this vision as your guiding star, you will be able to articulate it clearly during your mediation session and this will make it so much more likely for your preferred outcomes to end up in a final agreement.

Go into your mediation with this clear picture in mind, but also go prepared to listen to what your child’s other parent wants. At the end of the day, even if you don’t end up with every single thing you want, I would call being a co-author of your custody agreement rather than leaving those decisions to a stranger (a Judge) a win in itself.